When the voiceless woman speaks

I won’t start by saying thank you, because I know you are not listening to what I’m going to say, you’re going to hear me though, and I think that’s enough for me.
I’m special, no matter what you say or what you think and especially what you do, I will always know that I am special. There are many selfish, ignorant and arrogant people in this world but there are few people like me, who will love and honor with all their hearts. You see, I’ve watched you, I’ve watched you love me, love me like there was no other but I’ve also watched you hurt me, I’ve you watched snatch self worth, self dignity and pride from me. I’ve watched you strip me of my dreams, leaving my mind as naked as a newborn. However, I have also watched myself, waking up each morning to serve you, cursing the reflection in the mirror to be the woman you want me to be. I’ve watched myself slowly begin to hate my own self, hate my body, hate my mind, hate my thoughts, my laugh, my eyes, my words, my walk, my breath, my world and my very existence. I began to loath myself, slowly at first then more and more, until I broke mirrors or anything that bore a reflection of the woman I did not want to be any longer, a woman that you could no longer love. I watched as you brought home different women telling them how I was just a mad old woman who couldn’t give him anything he wanted, not that I ever could. You would tell those women to take no notice of me, that I was as useless as trash, and that my mind was no good, I was evil and only harbored evil thoughts. And I believed you, I drank your words like cool fresh spring water on a hot summers day. Your words watered the seeds of self-loathing, self-hatred and death within my mind, and as long as you watered the seeds turned to buds, to plants, they formed roots and began to flow their energy throughout my body, soul and spirit. Taking over everything within me.
You bastard. I wish I could hate you, but I harbor no place in my heart for hate and evil any longer. You will die alone and you will rot as you deserve to, but I pray you a slow and painful death. I was never an evil woman, but you made me believe everything. You broke me in order to build yourself, why couldn’t we just grow together?
I’ve re-visited this pain, only to tell you that you shall never find peace unless I allow it to be pardoned to you.
So, I give to you all the peace that you gave to me. None.